Breast Reduction Surgery, part 3
Note: if you don’t want to hear the word “Breast,” or feel unfortable with talking about them, please do not read these posts. I understand that some people do not think it is appropriate to talk about in public, and I respect that. If so, please do not join in reading this public post. I do include some personal thoughts, but I do it in good faith that you will be kind with my heart, as I will try to be with yours.
I organized my jumbled and overwhelmed thoughts into three parts: what I’ll miss, what I’m grateful for, and what I’m looking forward to (this post) with breast reduction surgery. I am not focusing much on the actual surgery: you can google that pretty easily for information. My actual surgery is scheduled for February 21, 2022.
Breast Reduction Surgery part 3: What I’m looking forward to
1. I’m looking forward to trying out new clothes/styles. I am watching YouTube videos about breast reduction surgery, because isn’t that what you do before something new? They mentioned that you can’t really move your arms well to put them above your head for clothes, so you should have button up shirts.
Button up shirts? Anyone with big boobs will instantly cringe when you say those words. I haven’t worn a button up shirt since I was 14. At least not actually buttoned up (the nightmare of popping off buttons is real). I literally felt light headed when I went shopping for button up shirts. How do you do a life that includes button up shirts? I don’t know! I have so much to learn. Do I even know what style I like? Have I just hobbled together a wardrobe of whatever works around big boobs?
I found a documentary called “Beyond Boobs” on YouTube. The lady that did it, Kristen Vermilyea, also has a Ted talk called “It’s ok to look.” That was the first video I found talking about the emotional side of things, not just the practical physical side of it. It’s a lot.
2. I’m looking forward to running. I’ve always loved running, but running hasn’t loved me back since boobs happened. I have bras just for the times I want to go run. I have to contort my body and change my movement to keep my breasts calm. It is really a whole process which my mind finds boggling to imagine NOT having to do.
3. I’m looking forward to not organizing my life around boobs, and to having less pain. Maybe I have let myself feel the pain more now than I did before, but the pain has grown the past couple of years. I have organized my whole life around big boobs, as anyone with them knows. My outfit depends on which bra I’ll be using, and my bra depends on the activities of the day. The daily question is: how much comfort am I willing to give up for how I look and what I want to do?
There is the neck, back, shoulder pain, yes. But there is also the constant readjustment to figure out how to work with these large attachments that takes up a really large chunk of time. I’m trying not put a lot of expectations on this surgery to “solve all my problems.” I know it isn’t a magic pill. But I am excited to think about it.
I think anyone who has lived with pain and inconvenience for a long time will tell you that it is pretty impossible to imagine a life without it. It’s just a hazy dream against the hard reality. Breast reduction surgery is going to be a process, a discovery, and an adjustment into a new reality.