Breast Reduction Surgery, part 2

Note: if you don’t want to hear the word “Breast,” or feel unfortable with talking about them, please do not read these posts. I understand that some people do not think it is appropriate to talk about in public, and I respect that. If so, please do not join in reading this public post. I do include some personal thoughts, but I do it in good faith that you will be kind with my heart, as I will try to be with yours.

I organized my jumbled and overwhelmed thoughts into three parts: what I’ll miss , what I’m grateful for (this post), and what I’m looking forward to with breast reduction surgery. I am not focusing much on the actual surgery: you can google that pretty easily for information. My actual surgery is scheduled for February 21, 2022.

Breast Reduction Surgery part 2: What I’m Grateful For

1.       I’m grateful for insurance that pays for it. I am living at a time in history in a country where my insurance is covering the cost, and agreeing with me that this is medically important. I am honestly blown away. It took a really long time to get the consultation. They told me it would be many months, but here I am, scheduled for surgery less than two months after my consultation. I am overwhelmed with how fast and smooth it all happened. It is sort of the same feeling as when I got married: “You’re just going to let me do this? You trust me to make huge adult decisions?”

2.       I’m grateful for my community support. I keep telling myself “You’ve had two babies in a foreign country: you can do an overnight surgery stay” but it is scary to me. The closest I’ve done before was Lasik surgery, and that was a 30 second procedure. I was single and took care of myself. It was my money and my time and my decision. It was very important to me. Lasik surgery was the first thing I’d done to really invest financially in myself, and I’ve reaped the rewards tenfold. But it was a bit scary and painful at the moment. I expect it will be similar with the breast surgery.

It has been so incredible to see how supportive all of my community and support systems are. Even the paperwork has been incredibly smooth. This time, it is not just me investing in me- it is a team effort to invest in me. I see that, and I feel that, and I am grateful.

3.       I’m grateful for my values and also for how they don’t have to be done a certain way. I was raised in a home where we really value making it work, and making do. I greatly appreciate these values, and have them as my own. Thinking about getting a breast reduction has felt like a betrayal of those values. God gave me these boobs. I will make the best of it. I will make it work, and by golly, I will be grateful for them!

And I am. But now I am given an opportunity that less than 1% of 1% of people in history have ever had (I made up that statistic, but I am guessing it is close). The opportunity to say honestly “It has been exhausting and really hard to carry these, and I’d rather not carry them with me the rest of my life.” It doesn’t sacrifice or change my values to be given this new opportunity.

4.       I’m grateful for feeding my babies. I don’t think I ever really appreciated my body until I made a human. And then another one. Birthing babies was so empowering to me. Anything hard that comes up (physically) I am like “I had two babies, all naturally: I can do this!”

My breasts fed the humans I made. It was a really wonderful experience, although I still felt very cow-like at the same time. It was weird and good to see my breasts as something completely disassociated from being sexy. I am so grateful for those memories.