Roots and Wings

There is a beatiful Johann Wolfgang von Goethe quote: “There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings.”

Being a missionary, I have contemplated about the wings a lot. In 2016 I wrote, “At a wedding recently, there was music playing, and our daughter started dancing. Caid, with his impressive dancing skills, started twirling me around, and we didn’t stop for a couple songs. Some of my old students came up and said “You know? We want to be like you guys when we grow up.” And that is how missions works. You live life and Jesus shines and others see and want it too.”

I am grateful for the wings that my parents gave me: I have flown far. I really hope to give my daughter wings: I don’t know if I wish her to fly so far.

But so often roots and wings feels like a mess of oxymorons. I am here, serving in missions, and doing life here means being here 100%. It is about reciprocal relationships. I am not just here to give—I need to be open to receiving. I NEED to receive as well. And just as much, I need to let go, to step back and let others succeed in leading. I also know my family is all in the USA, and so part of me is always lacking wherever I am. Part of me knows that in emergency or change I will always be called back to family. How do I put down roots at the same time as (and teaching others to) use wings?

Missions, ministry, parenting, life is a constant balance, learning, and re-learning how to have roots (responsibility, deep relationships, commitment) and wings (letting go, change, discovery). Hope is like that oxymoron, having both wings and roots. Hope (in the Lord) is the balance.

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I have, especially in this coronavirus uncertainty, been thinking a lot about roots lately. When I was single, I valued my freedom and my wings more. I loved living light and fast, with lots of travel and adventure everywhere. Two kids and no sleep changed a lot. And I realized that even though I’d been in Brazil 10 years, I didn’t really put down many roots.I hadn’t worked through to hope, and the bravery of laying down roots. My third culture husband, who has already done this fitting into another culture, has began to teach me more of what it meant.

What do roots look like, practically?

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On a podcast (Rachel Hollis Rise, episode 132 with Chris Hogan), they pointed out that everyone wants three things: to belong, to be accepted, and to be recognized. This is what roots look like. At Supercamp, they called this the “Homecourt advantage” that we wanted to create for our students (security, belonging, safety).

These three things must be found in Christ. This is what I am working towards:

  1. How to belong: invited into the family, eat meals together, keep showing up. Our home is in Christ.

  2. How to be accepted (safety): loyalty, honesty, openness, kindness. Our deep friendships/community are in Him.

  3. How to be recognized (security): invested in, feedback given, celebrated/rewarded. We find our fulfillment in Christ.

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