Summary of Never Will I Ever
Never Will I Evers (NWIEs) are the things that I tell myself consciously or unconsciously that I will never, ever do. They are a mixture of self-protection, rejection, retaliation, and self-limitation for the sake of simplicity, generosity, and a generally better life.
The bottom line is that if Christ is my center, I do not need any “Never will I ever” statements to run my life: Christ runs my life. If Christ is my center, I surrender all to Him, even my NWIEs.
I found it super helpful and necessary to work through identifying my NWIEs and how I got them; to be able to surrender them…and re-surrender them…and again. Perhaps tomorrow it will all be easier. I hope.
This was about my NWIEs on MONEY. They are in ever nook and cranny of life, and we all have theme, even if we never name them. My money NWIEs tapped into family NWIEs and Missions NWIEs. It is a little overwhelming to realize how many of these things I have, and how much more I have to go.
Money is normally my priority and primary decision-making tool. Do we have the money for that? Is that a good use of our money? This is very practical, especially when money is tight, but it can also be limiting and controlling. As a Christian, isn’t Christ to be my priority and primary decision-making tool?
Money is a big motive I use to judge others. As a reaction to growing up on the outskirts of upper middle class consumerism, I value and respect those who use money wisely, or even don’t have money, and look down on and judge those with “over plenty.” This is not a good or heathy thing.
If I don’t need it, I don’t understand why it is needed. I grew up with enough, but not a lot (lets say 3). I was perfectly happy with 3. I never went hungry, never went without. So when I see someone who needs 6 to function, it is hard to understand that. Especially when most of the people around me have 1. Something in me feels that if I say having 6 is a legitimate need, it means that everyone who has 1 has no hope. I am still working on this.
I live with a scarcity mentality in some areas of life. Why am I worried about money? Why do I shrink back from giving when someone asks me? Fear. Because I am scared I won’t have enough if I share. I am worried that means I have to sacrifice something else to meet that need. I have the fear that I will have to ask for/work more for more money because we gave it all away. Perfect love casts out fear.
God wants to be able to give me more. If He knows He can trust me to be a willing vessel, He always proves He is an extravagant, generous God. He wants me to be a hose He can flow through to give to others. This is for all things: love, grace, peace, joy—and practical things too, like time, things, and money. I want to live life like God’s garden hose.
A lot of what I said was “Who I am” or part of my faith is really how I was raised and my personality and my NWIEs. Personal history and personality play a huge part in everything we do—mostly unconsciously. It is easy to hold on to these things if we just say that is is “Who I am” or what God called me to do (or other “christianese”). This is why people keep going back to Socrates’ “Know Thyself.”