Doing the Inner Work

For many of us, the Covid Pandemic took away our “busy” excuse to not do inner work. The problem is, the longer it’s been since we’ve done “inner work,” the harder it is to do. Inner work is really looking at yourself, at the problem, and realizing how we are part of the problem and of the solution.

Someone told me I was stubborn. I didn’t feel stubborn- I felt laid back and easy going. Stubborn didn’t fit into the picture I had of myself. But they saw something I didn’t: my strength in determination...and also stubbornness. It took a lot of inner work for me to see that. To understand my strengths and weaknesses in that area.

The current cultural narrative is talking about racism and how it is woven down deep into things. And a problem is, the way it worked, a lot of white people didn’t have to do any inner work about it. Basically ever. That’s part of how it got so deep into things.

We all have unexamined things in us. I will be discovering myself until the day I die. The privilege of being white is that mostly, i didn’t have to do any inner work about being white- all the other stuff yes, but my skin color part was protected. It wasn’t protected for many others- especially those who are black.

It takes something really, really broken to be able to call another human an animal, or less than, or 3/5 a person. It takes a whole lot of cultural conditioning before you can comfortably live in that system. And it doesn’t go away by changing laws. It takes a lot of inner work. Changing how you think of things you never thought of before.

Our history holds this horrible past of slavery, and after the Civil War, there was a lot of work that was never done. A lot of people who ignored the really painful work of changing cultural views. A lot of laws not changed and reparations not given. So many of the same views and unjust laws just continued on, subconsciously and consciously.

So when someone asks you to sit and do some inner work about racism, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are racist- it means welcome to the party.

I am not saying you will come to the same conclusions I do from my inner work, but I am saying that the more we do inner work, the more likely we are to give grace. Because the process of inner work is humbling and hard and exhausting. Every time I’ve done inner work, I quickly realize I need a lot of grace, because I am a mess: and the best way to get grace is to give it.

Welcome to the party, friend!