Tea Bags
“Did you know that someone once sent us used tea bags?” I blinked my surprise. I didn’t even know you could use tea bags a second time. But the missionary sat in front of me, listing off her fingers some of the crazy and ridiculous things that had been sent overseas to them. Included in the list: clothes without buttons. Broken McDonald’s Happy Meal toys. Lingerie. Clearly, we in America need some training on what to send and what not to send to missionaries.
As an American missionary who lived in Brazil for 17 years, I shake my head at things that have been sent, but I also tear up with joy at things that have been sent. Some of the most thoughtful, sacrificial gifts have been given to me, making me feel a million things at once, including unworthy and in awe.
But here is the rub: most people don’t send anything. Most mission’s groups are working hard just to get the idea into the head of the general public that THINGS SHOULD BE SENT. That relationships should be reciprocal and valued and worked on. That the world does have a postal system that generally works eventually (those are other stories), and we can be so much more connected than we could in the past.
Our culture is so much of “Out of sight, out of mind.” Most of us in missions are working so hard on square one (SENDING SOMETHING), that honestly, we are just happy something got sent: even if it is used tea bags. Now that I’ve returned to America (pandemic) and live here, I remember all three: not getting anything at all, getting tea bags, and getting beautiful raw gifts that touched my soul.
After 20 years of going on, being a part of, organizing, planning, and leading mission trips from both the USA side and Brazil side, we had used tea bags all over again with this year’s trips. A beloved missionary came to me with tears in her eyes, asking me why the Americans keep sending them trash. Did we think they were trash?
It starts with simple misunderstandings. Working cross-culturally will always leave something lacking somewhere, and you don’t know it until you know it. This year it started with eclipse glasses. Indianapolis had a total eclipse and everyone bought glasses and everyone felt bad about throwing them away. Someone found out there was an eclipse later that year in Brazil: let’s send the glasses to them! Americans love a chance to redeem something. To reuse it and make someone else happy. It also helps us feel better about our consumerism.
What started off as a couple hundred glasses grew to 15,000 glasses. As I hauled them around in my car, I knew I we couldn’t bring that many to Brazil with limited luggage. I called all the places I could google, but they were also all full, not accepting anymore donations of eclipse glasses. We found a place we could mail them. They planned on shipping them to South America. Each trip that went to Brazil worked to find a bit of space to bring down some eclipse glasses, glad to make their August eclipse something that everyone could celebrate: think of the evangelistic opportunities! Sharing eclipse glasses with their neighbors! The rosy picture left smiles on the faces of those who donated and those who stuffed glasses into their suitcases.
They were not met with smiles in Brazil. Confused looks followed by a swallow and hesitant smile instead. A quick thank you and conversations changed to other subjects. The problem is, there is only a partial eclipse in August, and it is in a completely different part of Brazil. Did you know that Brazil is as big as the continental USA? Indiana isn’t the same thing as California. Where we were located in Brazil won’t have an eclipse until 2045. The American excitement to help crashed into the Brazil hurt of used tea bags being sent once again, and I felt sick to my stomach. Do you know how useless eclipse glasses are for anything besides an eclipse? They ended up cutting out the reflector part of the glasses, punched holes in them, and tied them on strings to use as shiny garland. I kid you not.
This isn’t the only story- it is just a side story that I have to laugh about, or else I will cry. The bigger story is of so many things American’s have brought with them that have been useful—even saved the day—over the years. The whole story is that the Brazil/America partnership has been significant in the lives of thousands of people. I have been so honored to be a part of that story for 20 of its 30 years of existence. It has brought together the most unlikely people, all because on both sides they were willing to say “Yes” to God.
I have seen generations of Brazilians grow up in the Lord, continue to serve, and continue to invite Americans to join them. I have seen Americans return from Brazil and put into practice a more integrated Christianity that calls them out from the nominal life they lived before. I have seen friendships grow and change the course of lives: starting with a simple child sponsorship. These were people who were willing to make mistakes and learn from them, over and over. Who both continue to step outside of their comfort zones to do more together than each of them could do alone. I am sure there will be more used tea bag situations in the future. And that is ok, as long as we keep growing, and keep being willing to laugh through it.
I tried to play the game of “How did we not catch that?” But there are a million reasons. The Brazilians didn’t want to say no to anything, even to let us know that there wasn’t an eclipse coming. They didn’t want to diminish any effort by Americans. We need to work on that. We need their input and correction. The Americans need to be more thorough in learning. We need to value asking what the Brazilians think, and then actually WAITING for them to give a response, instead of riding the initial high of a ‘great’ idea.
I will continue to work on connecting the goers and the senders and the stayers as much as I can, even knowing there will be disconnect. There will be more used tea bags, there will be more crying, there will be more laughing (even if it takes some time to get there). We will learn to give better. We will learn the art of throwing out the trash gracefully after the Americans leave. We will learn to not take it personally when we are told we brought used tea bags, or are given used tea bags. We will affirm that our missionaries are worth so much more to us than used tea bags. We never meant to be sending trash. We are kind of clueless sometimes, and it is worth a good laugh when we finally figure it out.